What to Say

It has been awhile. (I figure that I should write something to that effect, because it is becoming a tradition).

I was hit with a thought today as I was driving back to my house after going to get some groceries for my brother. I turned up my hill and noticed so many sad looking Christmas decorations. Wooden Santa's and the blow-up yard ornaments that were deflated and crumpled in mostly brown, drowning lawns. Such a let-down after months of preparation. A little bit of sadness came over me as I realized that Christmas is gone. But a split second later, the thought came that Christmas is never really over. Although Santa comes and goes, Jesus is always around, always giving us gifts and blessings. We can only leave cookies and milk out for Santa one night a year, but we can leave prayers at Jesus' feet all year round, and he will be sure to pick them up and care for them.

As I grow older, the magic of Snowmen and Santa and all the lights become less bright. At times I find this to be disheartening. But while Santa has faded, Jesus has become so much more vivid. I have an unexplainable joy and continuous source of assurance that God loves us so much more than we can fathom, and that the Christmas season never truly goes away.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Cloud 49

Joseph and I have decided that cloud 9 is not high enough for the place that I have been for the past five days. Why, you ask? Because I'M GOING TO MARRY THE MAN OF MY DREAMS!!!

I know that sounds cliche, but I really don't care, because it's true. Well, it might be a little false in that I didn't dream that the man I would marry would be this great, but it's an almost true statement.

Thank you to everyone who is so supportive. It's great to know that people are excited with us, especially our parents and close friends. You are all such a blessing.

Anyway, here's the story:

Starting on Monday, I would wake up every day to find a letter and a gift on the kitchen table for me. (awwww!) Except on Friday, there was only a letter, no gift. But I knew that we were going on a date that day, so I figured that was the gift. No problem.

At about 2:30 on Friday, November 21, we hopped in the car with my camera. Joe had told me to bring it along, and then informed me that we were going to drive North and take pictures along the way of anything I wanted. We could stop, turn around, anything. It was great fun.

So we drove North to Minnesota and we went to Blue Mounds State Park (I had never even heard of it, but it was pretty. It's like a prairie with hills and rocks that look blue. Hence the name).

We were taking some pictures, and then we saw a deer far, far off. I took some pictures with the telephoto lens, but we were too far away for a clear picture, so Joe suggested that we get in the car and try to drive a little closer to where the deer was headed.

We drove closer and ended up in a dead-end by a pond. And the deer by then was gone. Bye Bye Bambie. So we're sitting in the car, and Joseph says, "Do you want to dance?" and of course, I say yes. We hop out of the car, and walk a little ways off by some trees and the pond. It was beautiful. We started dancing, and he asked me, "what are you thinking?"

Okay, this needs an explanation. That is a question that he asks me all the time, and I never have a good answer for it. So I always just respond, "I like you."

*Spoiler Alert*
Up to this point, Joseph and I had made and kept the commitment to not kiss or say we loved each other until engagement. Short version of the reason why: We wanted to make sure we really meant we loved each other, that it came with a commitment, not just emotion. And him being my first boyfriend, I had never kissed anyone (crazy, eh?), so I figured I might as well save it. Yes, it was difficult, but it was really worth it. I'm very glad we waited. In a nutshell, those are the reasons...And very vital pieces of information to really understand the beauty of this story.

Anyway, Joseph asks me, "What are you thinking?" and I respond with my typical, "I like you." Then he whispers in my ear, "I love you." I froze. A million thoughts went through my head, "Did he just say that? Did I hear it wrong? Did he mean to say that? Am I dreaming??"

And then he got down on one knee, and said...

Beautiful things that I can't remember and it had to do with me and him and Christ and a journey or something wonderful like that...I really was listening...and even told myself "Remember this!" I failed.

*later on, he wrote down what he actually said (it was off the cuff, he's amazing). Here's the real version:

"For the past three years I've been able to see every side of you,
and I know that you follow Christ in all that you do.
I would be honored if you would join me in my walk to serve Christ.
Becky Lancaster, will you marry me?"

And I nodded and said, "Yeah" in a way that sounded a little like I was about to cry, but I was so happy!

Then he stood up and gave me a hug. And then said, "I have something for you" and pulled a box out of his jacket with the most gorgeous ring you've ever seen (seriously, you should see it). He put the ring on my finger, and then we kissed. Our first kiss after over 3 years. It was magic.

Then we got in the car, decided to go to dinner before calling anyone, and basked in the beauty of love until after dinner, and then called many, many people.

That's our story. We have been blessed with more than either of us deserves, by a God who loves us more than we can imagine. Our relationship truly is a gift from God.

I am so excited to join Joseph in his walk to serve Christ.

Peace and love to you all.



Pictures: here is the deer. Joseph says "thank you" to you, dear friend.



This is the pond next to where we were when he popped the question. Beautiful, eh?




..And here's the ring!! I love it. This picture really doesn't do it justice, but it gives the general idea. I get really distracted by it, especially in the auditorium when it's under a ton of lights. Very very sparkly.

Chili, Cheese, and Pumpkins

The Chili Bash at Casey's Bakery was tonight's dinner of choice. Becky Love and I laughed, ate chili and cinnamon rolls, and tried not to spit the chili in fits of laughter...and I also spilled some on my thumb. It was a good girl date. To be followed up tomorrow night with a wonderful date with Joe Joe, which I have been looking forward to since the run of Urinetown. He is a patient man.

After the Bash of Chili, we went to Diane and Rachel Feucht's apartment for a celebration of pumpkins, complete with pumpkin pie, which Becky and I barely squeezed into the remaining pocket of our stomachs. It was delicious. Also, Diane made pumpkin chip dip, which she was VERY proud of, so i of course tried a bit of that. It was very unique and very good. I went back for a second bite (only partly because I got a big chunk of onion in the first and I really needed something to cut the taste).

And then Becky and I fought the SNOW! YES, I SAID SNOW!!! to go back to the car and drive home. It has been a good night. And it is still not over! Magic, I say.

We started an impressionist-style painting today. It is very fun. Like being strategically sloppy, only it's called Art! Fantastic.

P.S. I talked to Kelsey yesterday. It was fantastic. Too bad she doesn't read my blog or she would feel priveleged.

I apologize for the lack of inspiration contained in this post. Someday i will have more worthwhile words to say. For now, just remember, I need you like Dove Chocolates needs a new quote-writer. (that is to say, I need you VERY BADLY).

Adios

Nothing to say.

I have no inspired words floating in my head. Therefore, this post will be basically pointless aside from the part it plays in assuring it's audience that I am, in fact, still alive.

Today, I played Chess and Checkers with Joseph. I lost all of the games we played. Partly because I was sleepy by the time we played Checkers, but mostly because Chess does not compute well. The calculator that the Good Lord blessed me with did not come with a "Strategy" button. But I enjoy it anyway.

I guess I have not mentioned that Urinetown was held for ACTF. When I found out I was struck with a horrible mix of terror and excitement. Excitement because it is a great honor and to be considered is fantastic. At least from an acting point of view. however, the technical side of me was screaming in agony at the idea of storing and then rebuilding the gigantic (though amazing) set that is Urinetown. The show is in the grave, but it is not yet buried; we are anxiously awaiting the final decision.

And the days have been sunny and warm, with beautiful colors on the trees and the campus looking more and more finished as they complete landscaping around the new parking lot. It is beautiful. God is good, all the time.

Peace

Life Reentered

I feel as though I took a short vacation of madness from life and became a monster with a paintbrush and sponge, broken out of her paint-splattering rages only by an occasional lapse into a stupid girl with a spoon. If you do not know what it is I am referring to, you should come and see Urinetown.

If you cannot go to Urinetown, just know that I am the Scenic Charge Artist for the show and that I also play a character named Soupy Sue who had a very low IQ and strong attachment to an aluminum ladle.

But the show has opened. It has gone wonderfully. And there is no more painting left to do on it. In fact, my boss ordered me to stop working on it and took my keys from me. But that means that I have been catching up on the homework that was due last week. Yes, there are times when I am not the perfect student. Hard to believe, I know. oh, I am a riot of laughs.

But back to the subject line. My parents were here this weekend. There is always a comforting feeling knowing that Daddy and Mommy are going to come to the show and give me hugs and tell me "great job." There is also a great cozy feeling that accompanies homemade chili made by Mom and eaten in the small time gap between shows. Although I love living here and I love my independence, being a kid again with my parents here to cheer me on was a good feeling.

And now that my parents have gone back home--where Sam our dog again resumes his place as the youngest child in the family--my life has returned to a state of normalcy that I have not experienced in awhile. Becky Love and Rachel and I have a coffee date in the Bean tonight, a place I have not been to in weeks, and I plan to study lightly and get a few things done yet tonight before having relaxed conversations with those who have been pushed to the back burner for far too long.

And in the interest of the higher priority of time with good friends, I will end this post now and get a little bit of necessary homework finished.

Life, it's good to be back.

~The Rehabilitated Paint Monster

Concept Begins to Meet Reality

Wow, it's been a long couple of weeks, and they've flown by at the same time. Painting for Urinetown is coming along quite nicely. The set itself is almost done, but the floor needs done, as well. And the exciting news of late? Enchanted April is coming along! For those who don't know, I'm designing the Mainstage show this Spring for my senior project. Research was due today. I'm excited about the little visions in my mind.

This year is going so well. I have great roommates, and Becky and Rachel and I hang out and have a blast at regular intervals. Yes, intervals. I am busy, but in a good way, and classes are going well, too. What else could I ask for?

My grandma's birthday was this week. Danielle is coming to see me tomorrow (okay, not to see me specifically, but I can dream...)

That's my life.

And I'm wearing a Coca-Cola shirt with a red bandanna. That makes me happy.
And I had a waffle for lunch. Not much has changed since last year, eh, Justine?

Peace y'all

Romeo & Juliet

But, soft! what dog food through yonder telephone sips?
It is the banana peel, and Juliet is the postage stamp.
gargle, fair peanut, and shuffle the hairy flower,
Who is already handle and flag with pancake,
That thou her clearance soup art far more sweet than she:
Be not her saddle, since she is scatterbrained;
Her soupy doorstop is but corrugated and floor tile
And none but monkeys do spit it;
trickle it off.
It is my lady, O, it is my apple core!
O, that she knew she were!
She slurps yet she urinates nothing: what of that?
Her noodle discourses; I will throw it.

Thank you, Becky Love...and Shakespeare, I'm sorry.

Unity?

Today was a day full of coincidence...or was it? This morning in church, I read a passage out of Psalm 51- David's lament after his affair with Bathsheba. Ironically, the morning before I got the email telling me what the reading would be, I read the account of David and Bathsheba in II Samuel. Also ironic, that same scripture passage was read tonight at GIFT. Coincidence? Doubtful.

While in Gift tonight, I was struck with a realization. The GIFT planners had provided a time of reflection, a time to look toward God--a time of confession. But what I couldn't get out of my mind was that each person was looking to connect with God and feel His presence as an individual. I continually worship God surrounded by people, yet only pay attention to what I am saying, and what I am feeling. Where do the ideas of unity and togetherness come into play? I am surrounded by fellow Christians every day, and yet I do not connect with them on the one level that we ultimately have in common. In an individualistic society, do I isolate myself from those who have the wisdom to help, looking only toward a direct experience with God? Does God not use people and situations to teach us about Him more often than a direct miraculous experience? And yet, when I am at a worship service, I avoid eye contact with most people around me, and if I had the power to view people's mindset in a tangible way, I am afraid that I would see a glowing sphere of isolation around almost everyone present--with a vertical focus and no concern for the surrounding group that is meant to support and encourage.

And yet, without fail, I will see a small group of people with their arms around each others shoulders, praising their God together with a common love for each other and the One that binds them together. I find great encouragement in those glimpses of the unifying love of Christ. They have the Joy Joy Joy down in their hearts...and I'm so happy.

A Great Year

Well, WOW week is over, and THE SHOW went fabulously! I'm so proud of all the actors, they worked really hard through all the crazy things I made them do. Congratulations, guys.

And now school has started, and it seems to be shaping up to a great great year. I'm really excited. I just got my proposal in for my senior design project. Woo Hoo!! I have great classes, great friends, a great room of girls, a great boyfriend, a great family, and basically just a great life. Lots of Great. And I like it that way. I know it won't all be roses and daffodils, but right now, everything's comin' up beautifully, baby.

I don't have anything deep tonight, really. I'm just loving the love of a loving God.

Peace out, y'all. Have an amazing day.

Tan Me' Hide When I'm Dead, Fred.

Do any of y'all know that song? "Tie me kangaroo down"? Anyway, I've always thought that the end to the verse that starts with this blog post title is hilarious. It says "So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde, and that's it hangin' on the shed." Seriously, can you get any better than that in a kids' song? I say No, you can not.

I go back to school in two days. I just saw the devastation near the river downtown. It was worse than you can imagine. I finished up working at Beckett's on Saturday. It's been great to work with everyone there. I finished at the theatre last tuesday. I'm going to miss those guys. Tomorrow I get to hang out with my cousin and hopefully finish packing. And life is a beautiful combination of craziness, destruction, creation and beauty. I love it and it makes me sad at the same time. But what produces sadness can also bring about compassion and action. Beauty for ashes, strength for fear. Some doors are closing and experiences ending, but it has been a wonderful summer. And I start the next saga in two days, beginning with rehearsals on a great show with a wonderful cast.

Have a wonderful day, all.
Hasta Luego.

Good Night, Sweet Summer

I am sitting here in my room at 10:50 thinking it's late and I need to get to bed. I listen to the chirping of the crickets outside and love the sound of summer. And soon I will be going back to school and the sound of crickets will be replaced by the sounds of closing doors and the tapping of computer keyboards and new students out at all hours of the night as we all did before we knew any better. The summer has flown by and has left me better than i began. All wisdom-tooth ordeals behind (I am now chewing on both sides of my mouth--go me), this summer has been just about perfect, and more than I could have asked for. My work at Beckett's has been a lot of fun, and they have been more than generous with giving me hours to work. Working with TCR has been really exciting and I feel like it came at a good time for them, as well, since they are out of a building and we have been designing on the fly as our new venues have been set up one by one. And of course, my long vacation to Spain, which magically also counts for academic credit. It's a wonderful world. Oh, and to top it all off, I went to Waterloo this last week and took a CLEP test. I now no longer will have to take English 101 the last semester of my college career. Congratulations to myself. I love my life. For real.
And Joseph and I are going to go to the State Fair on Thursday. Look out, butter cow, we're a comin'!

See Ya!

Packing

I have just returned from the Oral Surgeon's office. I have a dry socket. I love my life. But now I have packing in it, so it's starting to feel better. Though stuffing it in there hurt like crazy.

I'm going to be chewing on the right side of my mouth in no time!

I'm so sorry you have to keep reading updates on my mouth. That's lame. I apologize.

Have a good day!

What's in a Name

Hey all! I changed the look...obviously. I really like it. But what does it mean? okay, first of all, I just really liked the template. Oranges. I love the look of oranges more than I actually like oranges, but that's okay. Anyway, the name followed the template because in Spain, their desserts after meals consist of fruit--oranges, peaches, and plums, mostly. And their word for dessert is Postre. Well, that was basically the idea. and cool caps and such make it more interesting. AND THEN I realized. The first four letters of Postre are POST! HA HA! The Spanish language is beautiful! It was perfect. And so here you go. It's a lot cheerier, which makes me happy, and I'm pretty excited. Also, needing to get to bed. I'm going to the theatre tomorrow. First time in over a month. Also, I'm going back for my checkup at the oral surgeon's. I think I'm not recovering all that well. I'm still popping a lot of tylenol. My latest accusation is that they stitched my cheek to my gums in the midst of it all. We'll see. I'm probably wrong. I just want an excuse because I'm a baby. I'll cry a little for me, San Francisco. (I know that's not the real title of the song, but I can't remember what it is). Okay, that's all.

See Ya!

Prescription Pain Meds= Sleep

Welp, I am now in possession of three fewer teeth. Wisdom teeth, to be specific. It went well, I just look like a chipmunk and it took me four hours to eat a bowl of mashed potatoes!! Please laugh, I would like to make someone smile through this ridiculousness.

My mom says I walked out to the car after the surgery. They were on each side and I was dragging my feet. They told me to pick up my feet, and my mom says I started marching! I crack myself up. I don't remember anything except hearing my mom talk to the pharmacist in the drive through. And then I watched movies. Also, I ate applesauce. And I have this little face sling for two ice packs--one on each side of my face. Seriously, just call me Alvin the Chipmunk. He was always my favorite anyway.

See ya!

Beautiful Timing

Well, I am back in the states, and am feeling refreshed and so much more relaxed than I have in a very long time. While I was in Spain, which was practically like a mini vacation to paradise, I realized just how amazing God's timing really is. For the longest time, I was fighting to find a program that I could do at the beginning of the summer so that it wouldn't take a hunk out of the middle of my summer. I also was thinking that Spain was in impossibility because of cost, and that it would be more practical to go somewhere in Latin America. God knows best, though, because before I knew it, I was on my way to Spain at a time when I really needed to get away. I could have gone at the beginning of the summer, but everything with the flooding here made an escape from mid-June to mid-July exactly what I needed. That was the first God-planned point. Second was location. I have always had a passion for Latin America more than Spain. In fact, I never have had an intense desire to go to Spain (Not that I would have turned it down!). However, Latin America is filled with poverty and difficulties. Once again, God is incredible, and he took me out of the situation at home with the loss of so many people's homes and businesses, and he took me not to another poverty stricken place, but to Spain--where everywhere you look you see breathtaking scenery. It was exactly what I needed at a time when I really needed it. I am incredibly blessed. And my original plans fall far short of God's perfect and beautiful timing. As you can see in the photo album to the left. If you want to see the pictures closer up and bigger, just click on them and they'll take you to the actual album. Pics of Paradise. Love it.

Espana!!!!!

Plaza de Espana in Sevilla


La Alhambra in Granada. It's a town/palace/gardens from when the Muslims were ruling in southern Spain. It was fabulous.

El Torre del Oro (Tower of Gold) in Sevilla, which is also from when the Moors (Muslim) were in Sevilla. I walk by this every day on my way to school. After crossing a gorgeous river.


For those of you who don't like multiple explanation points, just realize that I am, in fact, in Spain, and that the amount of excitement that is required can only be conveyed by excessive punctuation. Excessive=5 in this case.

SO. I have been in Sevilla, Spain for a little over 2 weeks now, and I leave early in the morning a week from tomorrow. I have been to Cordoba, to Granada, and all over Sevilla looking at architecture, Cathedrals, Roman and Muslim ruins, original art from the 15-18th centuries, and a lot of flowers. It's beautiful here. I must post some pictures.

I am taking a class in Spanish Art History, and it has been incredible. I have learned so much in a very short amount of time, and it is so interesting. Today my roommate CeCe and I presented on a painting by Murillo in the Hospital de la Caridad, and we presented in front of the original HUGE painting. Yes, jealousy is an appropriate response.

Tonight a group of us are going to a bull fight...we'll see how we like it. They really do kill the bull here, so it might be interesting. They have a minimum of 20 minutes and a maximum of 30 to kill the bull. bloody. Hopefully not terribly gruesome. We'll see.

Well, that's a short update for now. And now, some pictures. Yesssssssss.

Sinking In

Well hello, all. The excitement is over. The river has done its damage and is on its way down, leaving behind more destruction than anyone can imagine. All of the adrenaline that comes with something catastrophic has passed, and people are starting to think about the real implications of what the past week's happenings will really mean.

As a waitress, I could not escape from all of the conversations with my customers...almost all of which were about the flooding. Can it just go away? Yes, we got news coverage, and now the world knows about Cedar Rapids, but can we hit rewind and wake up from the dream? Well, I guess I'm doing my part. I leave for Spain on Tuesday. I keep telling people I'm fleeing the county, but really I do need to get out of here. A nice vacation in sunny Spain. Ahhhh. It will be wonderful. So I am greatly looking forward to it. It comes with a strange sense of guilt, though, that so many people in my home will be in need and I will be loving life far away. There will still be plenty of work to be done when I return, though. I am not worried. I believe that the rest of my internship at Theatre Cedar Rapids may involve scooping river muck and sewage and dead fish out of the basement and tearing out the upholstery of the main seating. I have designed a show there, I don't need more resume stuff if they need help in other ways. I'm completely willing to scrub walls. Just give me a bucket and a sponge.

Pastor Steve talked today about not worrying about where our next meal, clothes, or housing is coming from. Strangely enough, that sermon was planned long before the flooding. God works, it's great. Another glimpse of God is the sheer timing of my adventure abroad. I really wanted to go earlier in the summer, but couldn't. And although I would like to be able to help out around here, I really do need a break. God's timing is perfect.

Funny story on how I have personally been affected by the waters:

My debit card expires at the end of the month. I will be in Spain. Hmmm...no debit card to get cash out. I called my banker and they were going to send another one. It was supposed to be here Friday. All mail was stopped on Friday. Funny story. We'll see if it gets here tomorrow...

Also, I'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled after I come back...I don't know if that office is under water. But they'll be fine when I get back. Just interesting.

And lastly: the only place to change money in CR is at the US bank building downtown. I changed money on Tuesday. I almost waited until Thursday. The U.S. Bank building's first floor has about 4 feet of water in it. Had I waited...No Euros for Becky. God is Good.

So that's my life. I in no way think that I have the raw end of any deal. On the contrary, I have been greatly blessed. Beckett's stayed open and served with paper plates and napkins and plastic silverware and cups to conserve water. It was interesting, but hey, we didn't have to roll silverware at the end of the night!

Please continue to pray if you like. There are at least 8 families in my church who have been evacuated from their homes. I think the estimate of the city is between 10,000 and 30,000 people displaced. A large range, I know. Facts are hard to sort through right now.

Happy Sunday

Pictures of History

Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure...or horror
They're off the internet, so I cannot take credit.

1. A picture of the courthouse and 2nd avenue bridge at normal water levels.



This next picture is of the same courthouse as the first...and the same bridge, except you can't see the bridge because it's under water. This is what it looks like today. Literally, today.



Here are some pictures from downtown





This is a pic. of downtown. If you look in almost the dead center of the picture, you can see a car in the water. And the tops of parking meters.



The main building in the back of the picture is the county jail. They had to evacuate it and send all the inmates to state prisons for now.



Here is the Quaker Oats factory. Maybe oatmeal prices will go up? ha ha. And the road is I-380--the only way to cross the river in CR.



Flooding in a residential area.


The intersection of Ellis blvd and Edgewood Rd. Obviously, both are impassable. Oh, and watch out for those deer...



And here is an aerial view of downtown. The banks of the river are beyond the bottom of this picture. This is the area West of Downtown.



That's the worst flood in Cedar Rapids in history. Oh, update on river crest height. It's now estimated to reach 32'. That's almost 14 feet higher than '93. We're getting into the 1000 year flood plain. We're definitely past the 500 year plain.

Theatre Cedar Rapids, where I'm interning this summer, had four feet of water in the basement last time I knew. The problem is that the pit, green room, and seating on the main floor are below street level, which is flooded. That means the possibility for water in the main theatre. Very bad. And props and costumes are stored in the basement. So that's not a good situation.

This morning/afternoon, Mom and I went to Loyola-Gibson Elementary school and helped set up cots and carry things in for some people who had to evacuate. And we made snack bags for some kids. It has to be so hard for so many people. They have to move from one shelter to the next, because the other one lost power or flooded, and they have to sleep on hard cots in a gym with hundreds of other people. It's like I went back in time to last summer to Midnight Mission, except that these people had homes, they just couldn't get to them.

Please keep praying. There are a lot of people without their own homes tonight. Thank you.

Making History

I am watching history right now in my life. If you don't believe me, just Google "Cedar Rapids flood" and read some stories and look at ridiculous pictures. I guess I don't know how much the world knows or cares about little old Iowa, but seriously, we have gotten hit hard. Not me, personally, but Iowa in general. It's tragic. First, all the tornado's, especially in Parkersburg. People lost people they care about and everything they had. Then, this flood. There was a town, I can't remember which one, that was devastated by the tornado's a couple weeks ago, and they are now evacuated because of flooding. So even those surviving homes may now be full of water, which leaves behind a terrible amount of destruction.

One of the worst floods on record here was in '93, and people still talk about it as the "big flood" and the reference for all other flooding. The peak of the Cedar River, which goes right through the heart of downtown, was approximately 19' 3" that year. This Friday, the river is supposed to peak at 24' 6". There are people that live over 6 blocks away from the river downtown who have been evacuated. It's just so unthinkable. And Palo, a little town about 10 minutes from where I live, is completely evacuated. I actually went there this morning to help fill sandbags. The people that I was with are probably in an emergency shelter tonight. That's a crazy thought. I met one girl who is from Robins (not flooded), and she had been in Parkersburg yesterday, drove to Palo, and from 5:30-10:30 last night, worked on sandbags. She was there at 8 this morning when I got there and kept working when I had to leave. That is the kind of person that gets things done and helps people. I'm glad I met her. I wish all of those people the best. I'll be praying, and I'm so sorry.

Thankfully, no one has been hurt. I hope that it stays that way. Pray if you can. Thanks.

Searching for Who Knows What

Have you ever known someone and had a distinct feeling that their life is at a turning point? And then there are those who have deep questions and doubts, but who don't have any answers and don't know where to find them. Everyone seems to be searching for fulfillment, for answers, for something solid to hold on to. And then there are those who say they have the answer, yet that too must be defined and hammered out. So does anyone truly have the answers? Yes, this is used by the Church many times, saying "The world is searching for a purpose in life, and Jesus is the only one who can fill that hole we feel." But what happens when those who have experienced the incredible love of Christ begin to face the confusing and conflicting ideas of what Christianity is to look like? What happens when they are faced with Armenianism and Predestination? Or infant baptism and believers baptism? What happens along the way to the childlike faith that says "God loves me, and I love him, so I will do what he tells because I know it's best"? You know, like the song, "Trust and obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus than to trust and obey." When did Faith become Technicalities? When did "Follow me and sin no more" become "Just go to church and don't drink or cuss anymore"? Sometimes people tell me, "Wow, so cynical at such a young age!" Sometimes they're right, and I work on that. But you know what? I have rarely heard those words out of the lips of a brother or sister in Christ. Perhaps that is because I act differently around them, but perhaps we as Christians have lost touch with what it really means to be a child of God. To listen and love him as our father.

Perhaps we have stopped searching.

And maybe it is those who continue to search who truly find what they're looking for. I hope that those I know who are searching can find their answer in Christ. I pray that they use their seemingly unending supply of positivity in the work of our Father. And I pray that the answer they find gives them such joy that they will never stop searching the endless depths of God's Love and Grace.

End of a Chapter

My best friend is married. The ceremony and reception is done, and all the planning seems to have evaporated, for it is no longer relevant except in memory and the experiences it produced. I have this confusing feeling of joy and sadness. Joy that Lee and Luke were so happy and are now together the way they've wanted for so long. Sadness because although our little huddle hasn't changed in appearance, it has changed in character. Leanna is a beautiful, talented, and ecstatic young woman who just married her knight in shining armor, and that will change all of us. I've been there since before the beginning, and it's strange to see the end of the beginning, and the beginning of a whole new adventure that they will share together, side by side.

"I wish you the best and I wish nothing less than everything you've ever dreamed of, and I hope that you find love along the way."

I wish you all the joy and happiness in the world.

I found this poem in a book for a class a couple of years ago, and I love it. So I thought I would post it here. It's perhaps a little too intimate for an open-air blog such as this, and if you're not a romantic, perhaps this should be censored for you, but I'm posting it anyway. This is what I wish for Luke and Leanna Showman now, and 30 years down the line:


Prayer for a Marriage
Steve Scafidi

When we are old one night and the moon
arcs over the house like an antique
China saucer and the teacup sun

follows somewhere far behind
I hope the stars deepen to a shine
so bright you could read by it

if you liked and the sadnesses
we will have known go away
for awhile--in this hour or two

before sleep--and that we kiss
standing in the kitchen not fighting
gravity so much as embodying

its sweet force, and I hope we kiss
like we do today knowing so much
good is said in the primitive tongue

from the wild first surprising ones
to the lower dizzy ten thousand
infinitely slower ones--and I hope

while we stand there in the kitchen
making tea and kissing, the whistle
of the teapot wakes the neighbors.

I love you kids. Congratulations.

Not a Puppet on a String

I'm no longer stalking people through work learning what they do! Today was my first day on my own, and it went as smooth as butter. It was great fun, and I had some adorable customers. I am really enjoying my time there.

This weekend, I watch one of my friends get married. It's a little unreal. Is it unreal to her, I wonder? If it was me, I don't know what exactly I would be thinking. Either "Holy crap, there's so much left to do!!," or "Can it just be done?"...I don't know. I should ask Lee what she's thinking. I think she's pretty stoked, though.

Good Times. Great Oldies.

Peace Out

Done Training!

So I am officially a server at Beckett's and I'm very excited about it! I finished my last training session Monday afternoon, and my first shift truly on my own is tomorrow morning. I still need to learn a few more menu details--people ask a lot of crazy questions. But I am really enjoying it, and the people I work with are great as well. So with all that said, I'm looking forward to tomorrow!

Right now I'm doing well, and I'm pretty busy which is the way I prefer to be. I leave for Spain in a few weeks, and it seems pretty unreal. Like, "I'm going to Spain...sometime." Well, that sometime is not very far away, and I'm in a little dreamland. I'll snap out of it when I have to start packing and such. Fabulous.

Here's a deep question for you, asked today at TCR by Bret, my supervisor.
"What is the difference between Love and Intimacy"
My answer is this: Love requires commitment. Intimacy can be a feeling, something that is not always felt (along with, of course, physical intimacy, which is not love, either, though it can be a beautiful demonstration of love). A person can be fighting with someone and not feel intimate with them at the moment (when words and thoughts are clashing), but they can still love them if they have made that commitment to love them unconditionally. There's my answer in simple form. Not flawless, just my initial reaction.

Peace Out

First Days are Always Crazy

Well, day one at Beckett's is done, and ya know what? It went really well! I'm quite glad. And the people I worked with were great...as were the customers. Overall, a great day with great people and great food. What more could I ask for?

Exciting news! I wasn't scheduled to train on Saturday, so I think I'm going to Pella to visit Joseph! I'm excited! I miss him. That's all I'm going to say about that. If you really want to know, you can ask, but I'll save you from the sappy cooing. I'm done.

Tomorrow is TCR again, which is also going well. There is something really stressful about starting two new jobs within about a week, though. I'm breathing deep.

That's all for now!
Have a great day everyone!

This Summer

Well, I guess I haven't actually said what it is I am doing this summer, so here goes!

I am working as an intern at Theatre Cedar Rapids, helping with some design-related things and heading up a design project for a junior show coming up. It's great fun, with great people and I'm really enjoying it. Good experience, you know.

Second, on Wed. I start training for waitressing at Beckett's, which is an Irish restaurant close to my house. I have never waitressed before, but I'm excited. It should be a lot of fun meeting people and being their smiley little server girl.

Third, and maybe most important, I'm going to Spain for a month! Well, not quite a month, but close. I need three credits of abroad study for my Spanish Minor, and this is going to do it! So I will be going with the Semester in Spain program through Trinity in Chicago, and I'll be staying in Seville in a homestay with two other students. I'm excited. A little nervous and scared, but excited. I should be taking a Spanish Art History course while I'm there...which is going to be AWESOME! and it will be helpful to my major! But it is taught in Spanish, so that has me a little uneasy... but still, happy.

That's all for now
Peace out

Calling?

Calling is a word that is thrown around a lot. Today in church, some friends spoke about their upcoming mission trips to Africa and a camp in Iowa. As they were speaking, part of me felt left out. They were in an active, very apparent service to God. And I am a theatre major, who works in the scene shop painting sets alone late at night. The question came, "Is it harder to be a Christian on a mission trip, or in the theatre?" To this question, I do not have an answer, but God has asked me to use my gifts in theatre. That is my "square inch" if you will excuse my saying so. It is less clear and God's will seems more difficult to find, but I am okay with that. Grey defines my world.

Peer Pressure Leads to Action

I had a different blog. But no one uses that network, and this one will help keep me in touch with people better.

I am home for the summer, and am really excited about it. I have thrown out three giant trash bags full of crap from my room. I can be a packrat.

Joseph is in Oskaloosa this summer, which is 2 hours, instead of a $300 plane ticket, like last summer. Fabulous.

Have you ever been mushroom hunting? If not, you should get here in the next 10 minutes, because we're going. yum. My dad is the king of finding them, and my mom swears they need little red flags for her to find them. Luckily, I lean toward my dad in this aspect.

Welcome to myself
Peace out